Self-care is more than self-indulgence. It is not getting a mani-pedi or shopping sprees. Although there is absolutely nothing wrong with either of those things, if we reduce self-care to our ability to afford a little pampering, then the rewards are fleeting and very short-lived. Self-care is being attuned to your body, knowing your limits, responding to your internal signals to slow down, and establishing boundaries when needed. It considers your physical, mental & emotional wellbeing.
Therefore, self-care requires a systematic approach. It is challenging to practice self-care if the systems (e.g., family, work, community) you are involved with do not support your need to care for yourself. If unhealthy behaviors such as always working late, never saying no, or never taking time off are rewarded with compliments or viewed as the marker for being a committed/valued member of the community, your ability to take the necessary pause to decompress and care for yourself is severely hindered.
To effectively practice self-care, you need support. Support that holds you accountable when you try to do it all. Support that recognizes when your plate is full and respects your need to say no. You need support from those involved in your life in every area to get behind your self-care plan.
You must establish a plan and practice it until it becomes an engrained part of your lifestyle. Self-care has to be intentional. Make a plan that involves having hard conversations with those that depend on you and those you are accountable to. I would even recommend putting your plan in writing as a contract and reminder that genuinely taking care of yourself is not selfish at all.
~Be well
Kerry McLachlan 