Effective discipline requires work and is often a family affair. Clear, consistent messages across caregivers is a must. Identifying problematic behaviors, establishing corrective action, follow-through, and reinforcement cannot be done in a vacuum. Effective discipline, however, is more than withholding privileges and doling out punishment. Discipline that is intentional is an avenue to teach children skills that will last them a lifetime. How and why we discipline our children matters. Think of discipline as equipping children with tools for their toolbox to help them navigate life. Discipline should be equal parts correcting behavior and teaching children how to regulate difficult emotions and make better choices that will grant them more favorable outcomes.
A key factor to remember when it comes to discipline is that all behaviors serve a purpose in meeting a need. Choosing to examine children’s behaviors through this lens influences our response. In other words, we are more likely to respond to their underlying need rather than react to the negative behavior. Our focus then shifts from solely stopping an undesired behavior to how I can help my child regulate their emotions, practice impulse control, and find healthier ways to express their need and get those needs met. It is essential, as a parent, to take a moment to breathe and manage your own emotions before diving in to address a behavior. Having a clear mind and a calm disposition always helps when tackling problems.
~ Be well
Kerry McLachlan 