When Thinking It Through Becomes Overthinking

Set a time limit. Then make the decision.

This is something I have had to learn for myself as an overthinker.

There is value in being thoughtful. We should consider our options, gather information, think about potential consequences, and make informed decisions. But there can also come a point when thinking something through is no longer helping us move toward a decision. Instead, we find ourselves circling the same questions, replaying the same possibilities, and searching for a level of certainty that may never come.

And sometimes, the indecision itself becomes a source of stress.

We tell ourselves, I just need a little more time. Or, What if I make the wrong choice? So we think about it again. Ask another person. Research a little more. Revisit an option we have already considered. But more information does not always bring more clarity. Sometimes we already have enough information to make a reasonable decision. What we are really looking for is reassurance that we will not regret it.

Most Decisions Don’t Require Perfect Certainty.

One thing I continue to remind myself is that many of the decisions we make are neither perfect nor permanent. There is often room to pivot. We can adjust. We can learn something new. We can change direction. We can acknowledge that something isn’t working and make a different choice.

That doesn’t mean every decision is easily reversible or that consequences don’t matter. Some decisions deserve significant thought and careful consideration. But treating every decision as though it carries irreversible consequences can leave us mentally and emotionally exhausted. Sometimes, what we know right now is enough to take the next step.

Give Your Decision a Boundary.

For decisions that don’t require immediate action but also don’t warrant endless deliberation, I have found it helpful to give the decision a boundary. Gather the information you actually need. Consider your options. Ask for input when it would genuinely be helpful. Then set a time limit. And when that time comes, make the best decision you can with what you know.

The goal isn’t to eliminate uncertainty before moving forward. Often, that isn’t possible. The goal is to recognize when additional thinking is helping and when it is simply keeping you stuck.

The Deeper Work Is Self-Trust.

I think this is where decision-making and self-trust meet. Trusting yourself doesn’t mean believing you will always make the right decision. None of us will. Self-trust is knowing that if you discover you need to change course, you can. It is believing that you can tolerate the discomfort of not knowing exactly how everything will turn out.

It is allowing yourself to make a decision without requiring a guarantee first. And it is trusting that even when something doesn’t go according to plan, you have the capacity to figure out what comes next. Most things are fixable. And when they aren’t, we can still trust ourselves to navigate what comes next.

So, for my fellow over-thinkers: gather what you need, give yourself a reasonable amount of time, and then make the decision. You don’t have to have everything figured out before you move forward.

Sometimes you just have to take the next step.

~Be well